I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
