I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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