This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
