Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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