can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
