Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
