I hate your face
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
