Already got asked if we're dating
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
