apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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