How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
