i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
