How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
