That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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