I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
honey bunches of taint.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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