this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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