My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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