Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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