i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
