Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
