I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
