she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
