So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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