it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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