Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
