She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
