Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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