Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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