i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
It's official drugs can't kill me
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
