Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
