my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
i out mim tonsoeep
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