so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
then he tried to convert me to islam
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
