I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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