im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
