I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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