Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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