Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
