She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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