Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
