How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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