that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
