Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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