I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
