There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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