We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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