Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize