Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
