dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
