uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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