you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Drake has all the answers
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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