oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
