i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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